Post Colic Sleep problems

[bkgerski]

Hi Everyone,

I am so glad to have found this support group! There just aren't any others it seems, which I find so strange... particularly if 1 out of 5 babies really has colic. I am also really doubting that by now. My daughter is now 5 months old and got over her colic around the 3 month mark. She is still very fussy and high maintenance. She is also a rather bad sleeper. I still hardly ever get more that 2-3 hours of sleep at night at a time. I was wondering if anyone else has this issue? She doesn't nap well either, I feel like I spend my whole life trying to get her to sleep and stay asleep, and then try to get myself some sleep to keep my sanity. I breastfeed and she doesn't take bottles, my family is states away and my husband has never been able to help much. I have never been so tired or depressed in all my life and I feel so hopeless. At 5 months, I just don't know if the sleep will get better in time for me to get some mental and physical strength back to keep going with this. Does anyone have the same issue, and I would love to hear from anyone who DID and is now the happy recipient of more sleep and a happy baby.

THanks for reading, it feels good to have contact with people like me for once! It is so depressing seeing the people in my "birth month" and their lives are so different.

[melizondo]

I am in your shoes too, post colic sleep problems is why I joined this support group today! I want to connect with other Mom's who have gone through the craziness I have for the past 4 months, and none of my other Mom friends have ever been through this. My son is 4.5 months, and has come out of colic pretty well and has become a very happy boy. On average, I get about 6 hours of sleep total if I'm lucky but I'm usually up at least 2-3 times. I've started a sleep log so when we go to the doctor we can discuss and try and come up with a sleep training plan of some kind. I don't like to make my son cry things out, and am hoping to come up with some sort of sleep strategy so he can learn how to sooth himself and sleep anywhere but the swing. Because of months of colic, he is addicted to motion. Is your daughter soothed by certain things? I also do a lot of reading and know from experience too that the more your child is rested, the more they will sleep. I think they say sleep begets sleep. Do you know why your daughter isn't sleeping well or napping? Have you ruled out all medical issues?
Most of all, I just want you to know you aren't alone. Today I'm pretty down about things so I left my 3 boys at home with dad and gave myself some retail therapy. My best advice to you is to come up with a plan for sleep! In all my reading sleep issues occur in the 4-6 month in post colic kids because they've never had the mechanisms to self soothe. I read so much because no one I know has ever been in my shoes. I feel like after colic subsides there are a lot of broken pieces to pick up. I'll be watching your thread to see if anyone else has advice. I'm there with you! Good Luck

[bkgerski]

I am exactly the same... about 6 hours on average... very happy to get 3 hours straight! Up 2-3 times on average. It seems like she's gotten better at self soothing, but she'll talk and fuss a bit for hours at night... trying so hard to soothe herself and not really wanting my help, but none of us get sleep! She kicks the side of the crib and talks and fusses so loud. And then its time for a feeding... it is just rediculous. I also had a low day today because it's been 3 days in a row with less than 6 total hours and no solid stretch of sleep. Feel so hopeless sometimes because other people post colic subsides at 3 months and everything is dandy... but my little lady still doesnt sleep, which makes it feel like she still has colic. She gets so fussy and irritable from the tiredness alone. She naps okay, but it's because I am incesent with getting her sleep. I use the ***goshdarn exercise ball to soothe her. It's either that or nursing to sleep. It kills my back and I sweat up a storm trying to get her to sleep a lot of times, but it is getting better. It's just so frustrating because I too keep a sleep log (love excel)... but there is absolutely no patterns or correlations to learn from. I also read a lot because I have not met anyone else (except for you melizondo!) that has similar issues.

[irica]

Hi guys, I could have written the exact same post myself a few months ago. If you look back at my previous posts you will see I went through a similar experience. My beloved baby girl was a colic monster for about three and a half long months, but even when it was starting to subside she was still extremely fussy and high-maintenance. And the worst part was that she was a horrible sleeper. I got into all these bad habits with her because of the colic and I had no idea how to stop them. She would only sleep on top of me or right next to me in my bed, had never slept in her crib, and would nurse on and off all night. We both got terrible sleep and my husband slept in the other room. I was convinced that the reason my baby was so fussy was because she was desperate for sleep, but just didn't know how to get herself there. And I had no idea how to teach her.

I was at my wits' end, and after months of colic and severe postpartum depression as a result, I just wanted someone to come tell me what to do. So, I admit it, I hired a sleep trainer to stay overnight for two nights and show me and my baby how to sleep. I was so nervous and terrified it wouldn't work and that it would just make it worse. And you know what? In just three days, my baby went from sleeping next to me in my bed and nursing on and off all night to sleeping 12 hours, straight through, in her own crib in the other room. No feeding, no interruptions at all. No rocking, soothing, bouncing, etc. I would just read her a book, put her in her crib, tell her good night, and she would go to sleep on her own.

After two more days, she was napping three times a day in her crib like clockwork (she would only nap in someone's arms beforehand, and never at consistent times). The first time she slept through the night, I sat in my bedroom crying tears of joy and disbelief. It was, and is, nothing short of life changing. She is now seven months, still sleeps 12 hours at night and three naps a day (though we will probably go down to two soon), and it is by far the best thing I have done as a parent. Because as soon as she started getting the sleep she needed, her entire personality changed. All the fussiness and short temperedness went away and she became the happiest, smiliest baby, the baby I'd always dreamed of having.

I know people have lots of differing opinions about sleep training. I can only say it worked for me and it turned my family's life around and gave me my health and sanity back. Of course it made things a bit easier to hire a sleep trainer, but I also think you can do it yourself if you read and follow whatever technique you feel is most suitable for you. I would go with Weissbluth, but again, everyone is so different. Best of luck to you both and to everyone out there going through the same thing. I can tell you from experience that it does not have to be that way.

[bkgerski]

Thank you so much for the post! It is wonderful to hear of your success. I have to admit, I am disappointed everything points to sleep training. Ugh... not sure if I can bear it. Did your daughter cry a lot during the training? At what age did you do it? Who did you use for the sleep trainer? Sorry for so many questions, but you are an invaluable resource to me! Thanks so much!!!

[irica]

I know, it is so hard to make that decision. I agonized for weeks and weeks over what to do. In fact, I had an awful feeling (based on all the reading I was doing at the time) that sooner or later I would have to sleep train her, but I was terrified that I wouldn't know how to do it right or I would just make it worse. I kept thinking, maybe I could keep on co-sleeping for a few more months, maybe we could just keep bouncing or nursing her to sleep for every nap. But it was just so horrible, that existence, and she was MISERABLE. I just reached a point where I knew I had to try something drastic. If I had only known then how life changing it would be, I wouldn't have hesitated for a minute. But of course it's so different when you're in the thick of it.

I waited till she was about four and a half months and visibly over the colic, which is what her pediatrician, the Weissbluth book, and the sleep trainer recommended. The sleep trainer I hired is named Kimberly Walker, and she has a site called Parenting Unlimited (parentingunlimited.com). She is in the New York City area, but also does phone consultations. I know there are other sleep trainers who do phone consultations or who will come to your house if you're near a major metropolitan area.

To tell you the truth, both nights she was here, I left after the initial period where Kimberly talked me through the bedtime routine. I went out to dinner with my husband the first night, and went to a movie with him the second night. Both times, Kimberly stayed in the room with my baby and would send me texts throughout the evening to update me on how she was doing. How long she had cried for, if she was sleeping, etc. And yes, my baby cried. I think it was 1 hour 15 minutes initially the first night (which Kimberly said was average), then she woke up twice more during that first night and cried for about 20-30 minutes each time. The second night it was a little better. The third night, my first night doing this alone with her, she cried for 10 minutes when I put her in the crib, then slept the full 12 hours. And woke up well rested, smiling, happy to see me, the way she does every morning.

I know it's a tough concept to wrap your head around initially, and it's definitely not for everyone. But if you could see the difference in my baby...from the angry, miserable, exhausted, super-fussy infant that I was rocking, coddling, nursing, co-sleeping with to the smiley, happy-go-lucky baby who goes to sleep by herself in her crib, you would be amazed. I'm happy to answer any other questions you have! You might want to ask your pediatrician what his/her views are on the matter too. Best of luck! I'm pulling for you and your baby!

[Hey Guys]

I know it's hard not to compare your child to others, (bkgerski)but those who wave goodbye to colic at 3 months are very lucky. I found that my son improved for 1 blissful week around 3 months and then digressed back to where we were until recently. For the last 2 weeks the bed time routine that I had done since birth made him scream out of control until I gave up and just bounced him to sleep in his bouncy seat. Colic is so frustrating in the fact that nothing is the same from day to day or week to week. I right there along with you and will do anything still to get my little guy to sleep.....even if it's all naps in the swing and maybe an hour or two in the morning hours (my rule is no swing before 5am for fear of making MY bad habit worse) just to get by for now. We've got a ways to go......my sleep training has consisted of mainly teaching him how to sooth himself and try and go to sleep on his own. Gotta start somewhere I guess. I'm off to enjoy my 6 hours of sleep for tonight!

[melizondo]

Oopsie- just wanted to let you know I posted the above, I forgot to log in and you are probably wondering who Hey Guys is. See? Need more sleep!!

[bkgerski]

Haha! I never judge those in the throws of sleep deprivation! I am surprised I can still type! Thanks "Hey Guys Guest" hehe for your reply. I know I shouldn't compare babies, but I was just getting down because it seemed like people would post that the colic was gone and all was peachy! I was like, oh no! maybe I have a double whammy of colic AND poor sleeper... and I was getting down. So I was trying to fish out the details Us women can be so illusive with child rearing details it seems. We're just too tough and suck it up I guess! Yeah, my little girl got better at the 3 month mark, but sleep didn't improve. So she has been soooo cranky and miserable. And she does this weird thing at night (and apparently naps now too...just did it this morning), she'll wake up and talk and kick for over an hour... trying to self soothe maybe? But usually it ends up in more of a fuss. Can't really do anything with that! Even if I go in and try and soothe her, she wants nothing to do with me! Then she is so tired the next day. And nobody sleeps because its so loud. She doesn't even seem like a candidate for CIO for this reason... not that I really want to do that anyway. So currently we're just stuck in this little rut of waking and kicking and talking for an hour or so every night. Usually only once, the other times she wakes to feed and goes back to sleep quickly. Can't even remember what it feels like to not be in this fog!

[Brandis]

I just wanted to say that Irica's story couldn't have been any closer to mine. My now 5 month old son has colic for 4 months and because of this developed HORRIBLE sleeping habits. I feel for all of the mothers on here because I know what it is like to be completely sleep deprived and then have to deal with a child that screams all day long. I was miserable, angry and also jealous of everyone else who had good babies. They really had no clue what it was like. At 4 1/2 months, when the colic was better I knew we needed to do something about his sleeping habits. He was miserable bc he was exhausted. He would go all day without napping and then wake up 10 times a night. We, too, hired a sleep consultant and it was by far the BEST investment I ever made. My son who I was once convinced was going to ruin our lives forever, is now a well rested baby who is happy and thriving. I just found this site today and bawled as I read story after story just like mine. I only wish I could have found it sooner. For all of you moms out there dealing with a colic baby please hang in there and know you are not alone. Also, please don't hesitate to hire a sleep consultant!

[melis]

Hi
My second child ( a boy) had terrible colic for about 5.5 months and could not fall asleep on his own. We had to bounce him to sleep for naps and bedtime and nurse or bounce him back to sleep 30 minutes to 2 hours after we put him in his crib all night long. For naps we had to hold him the whole time and either nurse him or bounce him each time he woke ( screaming), about three times during a 1.5 hour nap. I had to delay going back to work since he couldn't go to day care this way and I didn't trust a many. Also I was lucky to have grandmas willing to help but they weren't up to the strenuous bouncing on the excercise ball. I had to send my two year old to day car because I couldn't watch her while I bounced her brother on the ball for four hours each day trying to get him to sleep and keep him asleep. I was a wreck with only about 4 hours of sleep a night in small stretches. Also he'd wake around 5 am for the day which was actually the hardest part for me. He was a terrible sleeper from the start and it got worse over time instead of better. My daughter had learned to sleep on her own with just a little effort but my son seemed to fight sleep with all his might. We had to bounce really hard on the ball and blast white noise and hit just the right window ( I'd spend up to 3 hours trying ever fifteen minutes to bounce him to sleep but when he'd scream louder when I'd bounce I knew I had to wait and try again later). Even after he finally fell asleep I'd bounce him for twenty or thirty minutes more before putting him do for bed time . Even then he'd sometimes wake as soon as I set him down. For naps IF he stayed asleep when I put him down he would only nap 5 to 30 minutes and then be exhausted and screaming 20 minutes after waking so I gave up putting him down so he could get some sleep. I decided to hire a sleep consultant when he turned six months because I was so exhausted and depressed from the colic and lack of sleep that I wanted someone to tell me exactly what to do and have someone to ask questions if it wasn't working. I actually thought it would not work. I thought he had to have a sleep disorder because it was so hard to get him to sleep or keep him asleep and 90 percent of the time when he woke he woke screaming. My consultant met with us and gave a personal plan but we had to do it ourselves( could have paid more for consultant to stay the night). My son had seemed a little bit calmer , maybe finally over colic at 5.5 months. It was slightly easier to put him to sleep was the main thing, didn't take two plus hours anymore, but he was still crying a lot of the day and waking all nite. But the slight improvement gave me a little bit of hope that the training might work. We started at six months. It worked!! I thought it would take three hours for him to fall asleep, but he did it in 75 minutes the first night and that was by far the longest. He did cry hard and roll all over the crib, but it was not as bad as the worst crying he did during the first three months of colic so it wasnt as bad as id already been through, plus i knew this might actually help him. And he was crying daily and nightly even with all the bouncing and nursing I was doing anyway. The first night he only woke once! And by a week he was consistently not waking in the middle of the nite at all!! We started nap training last week and that is going well. I no longer bounce him or nurse him... He sleeps on his own in his crib!!!! He does still cry on and off for 15 min before he falls asleep and I'm still working on early rising- but I am do happy and or household is starting to return to normal. I dont know if it would have worked before he calmed down slightly on the colic around 5.5 months though, but maybe it would have. I used a " sleep lady" trained consultant in my area. Good luck to you, I know it may seem like your baby will never sleep through the night but if you pick a book to follow or hire someone to help you with the training, you might be amazed like me! Good luck!

[paperkite]

Not everything points to sleep training anymore :-) I just found a very good book by the guy who wrote happiest baby on block...

Happiest baby guide to great sleep

It has been a god send! First time I tried the methods it was a real disaster. I almost gave up right there. But by three days, everything turned around !! Can't recommend it highly enough.