Do you let your baby cry it out?

[hannah1988]

My baby is 9 weeks old and he has been colicy from the start.  He has all day screaming episodes that leave me exhausted and in tears.  I have a hard time putting him down and letting him cry it out.  I have been told that I should, but it kills me to see him like that.  I feel like I am a bad mom anytime I put him down even for a few minutes... heaven forbid that I try to eat a sandwich or take a bathroom break.  Any moms that are going through this, I would love to hear your thought/suggestions. 

[Ftm]

Look up high needs babies. Unfortunately crying it out doesn't work for these type of babies so you would be wasting your time and he/she would lose trust in you. My LO is the same at 13 weeks. It's just his temperament.

[Lilysmommy88]

My daughter is the same way and I feel the same way you do. I sit on the couch with her basically 24/7 while neglecting my own needs. Bathroom breaks are very rare and I only have time for one quick meal myself a day. She only stops screaming to eat and sleep, which isn't very often. I also tried to let Ber cry it out but feel awful leaving her even for 5 minutes. So I have no great advice but I can say you're not alone!!

[Amber Lynn]

I personally don't believe in crying it out. I believe you should at least be holding him/her while they are crying. I understand having a colicky baby is awful for everyone, but you need to just get through it. I do think it would be okay to put them in their crib or in another safe place for 5 minutes just to calm yourself down if you think you are going to blow...Keep coming here for support. Ask friends and family for a half hour of their time if you can. Hang in there!!

[Tired Mom]

hannah1988, I also have a very colicky baby who is 12 weeks old. I do my best to hold her and calm her down but sometimes it can be too much! I'd rather put her down for 20 minutes to cry then get angry and frustrated with her! Sadly, there is a reason that shaken baby syndrome exists. You have to take care of your mental health as well. I will put my daughter down in her crib and grab a snack and watch tv for 10-20 minutes and then go back to calming my daughter. It calms me, which helps me calm her. I hope both our of children grow out of their colic soon! GOOD LUCK!

[ariasmom]

I am sure I will be alone in this, but I let my baby cry it out and it was the BEST decision I ever made!!! I tried everything first, over and over. Read some dr. Sears and other sleep solution books and what a joke those were. Nothing in those books worked. I built trust with my baby in the beginning months but once she was 6 months and sleep was so so bad that I couldn't function anymore, I did it. I did it my own way, and it was the greatest thing ever. Took a few weeks at first, but her sleep improved dramatically and finally she was getting the sleep she needed. To be healthy.
Now a days, there is this new wave of parenting, all this judgement and all these rules. I guess if you don't co sleep or breastfeed ( which I did), you're a bad parent. How ridiculous. Old school is my way, because every parent over 40 who has been through it would say " it gets better once they are old enough to cry it out", but now a days everyone is sooooooooo afraid to let their kids cry a little. Btw I have read the "studies" that DR SEARS tries to scare everyone with about fear and anxiety. I think he is full of BS. If you think letting your baby cry ( haha they are already crying they are colic) if you think that is so bad, then why aren't you losing sleep over all the babies that are starving, or have no bed, or who are abused? Don't worry and judge others who decide to let their babies cry a little, worry about yourself and the fact that your baby will be waking up to breast feed all night as a 1 or even 2 year old if you don't teach them or show them how to self soothe. Babies need to learn how to fall asleep, and at some point, on their own. Unfortunately everyone has become sooooooo paranoid over their parenting by all these granola hippy dippy folks who act like front carrying is doing your child a great distress. Maybe we went to far from the old school.
Obviously, I feel the need to be defensive on this, but understand that I do not believe cry it out is necessary for everyone's baby and if you are not comfortable doing it, then do not do it. For me, it was the best! I also believe babies need their sleep to grow and be healthy, and that was more important to me than worrying about letting my baby cry. She is coming up on her 1 year bday and sleeps through the night and I have not noticed any anxiety or trust issues. Don't read books, only YOU know what's best for your baby!

[Luddy]

Once I started letting my baby girl cry/fuss it out a little bit it actually benefited both of us. I read all the blogs and research that said don't let your baby cry because you'll scare them and I was driving myself crazy. Once I let my 10 week old cry when I knew all her needs were met she ended up falling alseep and I was less frustrated and exhausted. Now at 12 weeks she is crying less and less and napping much better. Worked for us.

[TJMommy]

Since my son is so little I only let him cry it out for about 5 mins at a time. I agree that its better than getting angry. Sometimes i just turn the music up loud and it distracts him for a while from crying. Also, if he is crying its not so bad with the music. Sometimes if I let him cry it out he will calm down when I soothe him again

[mrssandoval]

ariasmom KUDOS!!!!! I never thought I'd be a "Crunchy Mama" -- hell, I didn't even know there was a name for what kind of mom I am! --, but I am 34yrs old and a first-time mommy. I'm still a HUGE fan of old-school. Gee, how did kids ever survive before all these rules?!? Ridiculous, I say!

When I was pregnant, and even before, I noticed moms put down other moms waaaayyyyy more than anything or anyone else. It sickens me! How can we expect others to support us, not judge, care about us when we're doing it to each other?

One thing I vowed to do as a new parent: NEVER EVER judge another parent! What works best for you is not what works best for them; parenting is NOT a one-size-fits-all concept; our children did not come with owner's manuals; and we are all just winging it, one way or another.

For goodness sakes, ladies, we MUST support each other! Btw, my mom practiced attachment parenting and I've had full-blown panic disorder since I'm 19. Almost everyone in my family has an anxiety disorder that's treated with meds and regular shrink visits, like any other disease. It was genetic. So, her cosleeping, breastfeeding, and baby wearing did not stop me from developing anxiety issues!

Also, like another mommy said, shaken baby syndrome is very real. Most of the perpetrators were mommies who were not evil people, but were pushed over the edge. It's MUCH better to take a timeout than to push yourself past the breaking point.

ariasmom, good for you, sweetie! I'm sooooo glad something worked!!! I can't imagine how hard that must've been for you. I'm glad your DD has a strong mommy that stands up for her convictions!