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Post by Hannah on Dec 12, 2013 19:32:13 GMT -5
I'm tired. I'm a new mom.
I have a beautiful 3 month old baby boy. He has these wonderful moments when he smiles, laughs, holds my finger in his tiny little hands, and just completely melts my heart. These moments fuel me and keep me going. But they are just moments, for now anyways.
My baby has colic. And not just your standard colic. All day long screaming at the top of your lungs in pain colic. The kind of colic where if he isn't sleeping or eating, he is probably crying. When he cry's, I cry. I rock him, shush him, swaddle him, tell him I love him and that it will pass, take him for car rides, bathes, let him lie on the clothes dryer, put on the hair dryer, give him griper water, simethecone drops, probiotic drops, chamomile tea, and as much love as I can muster, but it doesn't help. I'm helpless, helpless to soothe my baby. It's a horrible feeling. The worst feeling in the world, my world, and colic is my world. Unless I am sleeping, then I am living it. Colic is a diagnosis for parents, not just baby's, and it is so taxing. We are three months in, and I pray every day, every hour, that this soon will pass. Please lord let this pass.
The anger I feel towards new moms with happy baby's is extreme. Anger, jealousy, remorse that I cannot feel happy for their happiness, sadness, and depression. These new moms of happy baby's take their babies to the store, to their friends houses, out in public where people can fawn over their tiny little angels. My friends want to meet my baby, my family wants to meet my baby. I don't want anyone to meet my baby. My baby and I have been on lock-down for three months.
I know we will get through this... we have to get through this. Right now, life is hard, and I pray every morning when my baby wakes up that this will be the day that the colic is over.
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Post by raylene58 on Dec 14, 2013 21:33:24 GMT -5
I'm still right there with you at 4 months… I don't know when it will end, but there are others who fell just like you do.
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Post by Big g on Dec 16, 2013 13:03:02 GMT -5
Hi guys....I'm a dad of 2 and my second daughter who is now 10 months had terrible colic. She would cry no, scream and scream and scream for at least 5 hours a night. It was so bad she would nearly lose her voice with the screaming. It's easily the toughest thing I have been through and my wife dealt with most of it. I was lucky that at 13 weeks it passed. You gotta hang on in there. It will pass....it will get easier.
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Single Mom of One 1 yr old
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Post by Single Mom of One 1 yr old on Dec 21, 2013 17:44:48 GMT -5
I have a baby our rather toddler now of near 16 months. He has not stopped crying almost 24/7 daily. I've done absolutely everything. I've cut all dairy out of our diets since he was about a few months old. I've tried every idea possible. I constantly attend to his every need. I've been in personal and family counseling for his colic. Still nothing works. Its to the point that people around me think its my fault, no matter what I do. It's the most trying thing on the planet. I even have a routine that he doesn't always stick to. It's so exhausting. It gets worse if I don't breast feed him. And a million other things too. And he gets super food picky. I'm also right on track with his developments every step of the way which only helps some of our colic issues. It's definitely exhausting. I decided to go back to school so I'd have something separate to focus on while I look for work and some productive time . It was fine the first few months and then the tantrums started to really show up. So I've been showing him a ton of attention since we started winter break this week. It's helped but I'm still getting complaints. He's still crying, you need to get him quiet. Sigh. What an I supposed to do? I've done literally Everything, for Months. He's perfectly happy and healthy in every way, good and beyond his development age according to the doctors and counselors, and I'm considered a good mom by them and people around me consider me an outstanding and strong mom. So I really cannot figure out what is the problem? I even meditate, do Yoda, sing, you name it when I get my little breaks. Anyone else in my shoes, mom of 1 child? :/
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Post by High needs on Dec 21, 2013 19:08:34 GMT -5
Look up dr. Sears high needs
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Post by Sofia on Dec 22, 2013 11:06:51 GMT -5
Hannah I feel your pain my baby girl is also 3 months & every night she cries. Non stop for hours. She sleeps all day because she is so exhausted from crying the night before. She gets so over tired, we are also so tired my husband & I take turns in comforting her. We try the hair dryer, the range hood, singing, holding her tight, suushhhhing her... The only way she finally goes down is when we're comforting her after 4,5,6 hours, she's just so tired, she sleeps on our chest. It's so very hard because I'm also a first time mum. Some family members haven't even met my daughter because she's so unsettled & I'm so tired I don't want to be entertaining anyone. I pray too. It's very hard. I hope you have some support?
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Post by ariasmom on Dec 23, 2013 13:12:52 GMT -5
YES! Colic ends. It has to. Every baby is different, thats the most important thing to understand. So no one can tell you when it'll end for you. I have an 11 month old baby girl that had colic really bad from day 1. It was the WORST experience of my life. People that never have a colic baby ( which seems to be most people), will truly never understand what its like. I know there are worse things, and I was always thankful that my baby was healthy but it was so hard when everyone around me had babies that just slept in their stroller. I still get upset when I see people with newborns at restaurants, or just holding their babies while they are just sleeping. I am forever scarred by the experience and when people would say " isn't it so worth it" or "aren't they such a joy", I had to ask myself if I was normal for not agreeing. I couldn't get over thinking "why me" and " will it EVER end"? Plus it seemed that I was the only one in the world with a baby that had colic. I did find this board which helped, but it would've been nice to meet someone in person. I cried and cried. Tried everything. And I mean EVERYTHING!!!!!! Sometimes, something would work, but then never again. I read books. What I learned from all of that is NOT to read books. BTW I don't think Dr. Sears has ever lived with a colic baby. I don't think he has a clue so just trust your gut. I do not like Dr. Sears he has no idea what to do with a colic baby. Nothing he suggested worked for my kid. I would co-sleep, and nurse all night and it NEVER worked. So all these different parenting styles didn't matter. Unfortunately the only thing that worked was TIME. When you are a mom of a colic baby, the last thing you wanna hear is TIME. When people say, it'll go away at 3 months, that sounds like an eternity in the moment. There would be nights where I would say " I can not handle this another day". I'd do anything to end it. Elimination diet, gas drops, massages, windi, and teas. Colic is not gas, it is a term really. And it could be many things. In many cases it is hereditary. My mother in law before she passed away, had once told me my husband was colic. At the time, I did not have much interest in that story. Didn't really know what colic was. Should have listened and learned about it then. Little did I know it would resonate on my life forever. My child's colic drastically improved at 2 months, and seemed to go away at 4 months. Sleep issues got better at 6 months, and my favorite times have been 8 months plus. Knowing about the wonder weeks has helped a lot. And while I have an awesome baby girl and best friend now, she was the worst baby I had ever seen. She is still a little more high needs than some of my friends kids, but I am now willing to accept her personality and demeanor and love her for it. It can be trying at times, but all babies have their moments. Fussy has become a frequent word in my vocabulary. She loves to eat and things get better when they eat solids. We have fun going out and to restaurants and really YOU SHOULD GET OUTSIDE even if your kid is crying/ screaming the whole time. You need it!!!!! And just let people see the baby, they don't have to deal with it everyday like you do and chances are it bugs you a lot more than it will bug anyone else. Remember you still have lots of hormones leaving you! IT GETS SO MUCH BETTER! Btw, I said only time worked, but that doesn't mean you should stop trying everything!!!!!!! My guess, is colic for my baby, was a combination of gas, her personality and she was bored. Something was bothering her and they can't talk, so they cry. Cry and cry. and some babies are just happy sitting there doing nothing and staring at the wall, and some, like mine, wanna walk when they are born lol. GOOD LUCK! You will get through it. It has to end. If you are like that parent with the 16month old, thats the roughest but that kid will talk one day and tell you whats wrong- then it will end. Colic does not last forever. You are going through the darkest moment. Its lighter and lighter from here on out!
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Post by newmama on Dec 27, 2013 13:02:21 GMT -5
@ ariasmom...WOW- YOU NAILED IT!!! What great, inspirational words. Seriously, I felt like you were in my head as I read your post. My baby girl is about to be 7 mos. Yes the colic ends. Hang in there. It is all about time. I too still get jealous when I see so called easy babies. It really stinks that some of us have to go through this. The baby and us. I do feel robbed of those early months. I see pictures of the content babies when they are born. You can see the relaxed look on their face. That was NOT the case with our lil one. Screamed from the moment she came out of me. Had a scowl on her face always it seemed. I have learned to accept that our lil one is just very high spirited and look forward to watching her grow with her curious, high energy personality. I am a new mom as well and take it day by day. You realize that just like any human- babies are their own person. With different personalities and ways about them.Once the endless crying stops- and it will!- things will only get better and better. Agree 100% with ariasmom...GET OUT of the house. Let people come over. One at a time so you dont get overwhelmed. The babies cries get to you more than they do others. Take advantage of someone elses arms for a moment. Have a glass of wine. Take a hot shower. Run to the store! You will feel so much better. Good luck and know that the end is near!
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Post by nosika on Dec 30, 2013 19:40:36 GMT -5
ariasmom I think we have the same chid. actually both my kids were this way. gas, boredom, and reflux make those first few months miserable. my 10 wk old lives on mommys bliss gripe water which is also the only time he'll take a binkie but will pacify on me and then supply actually goes down. my daughter seemed to honestly get better overnight at 3 months. my son i think will take longer b/c he has a condition called laryngomalacia he has to grow out of. but i can't wait for the day. my new calmer of the day was bouncing him in car seat on yoga ball. this was a lot less strainful than swinging the car seat or bouncing on the ball myself.
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Post by raylene58 on Jan 7, 2014 11:59:29 GMT -5
FYI it just ended for me at just over 4 month.... It was like night and day instantly... I think it has to do with his increased mobility and awarness.. Hes no longer a blob and loves it.. We dont know if he is high needs or cloicky... and it really does not matter, what matters is he turned a corner. It will only get better
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Post by april123 on Jan 21, 2014 19:16:54 GMT -5
I am sad to say motherhood really isn't what I expected. My daughter has had colic since day 1. Doctor just says she is a colicky baby and will "grow out of it eventually". He told me that most babies grow out of it by 3 months, and I was so excited because there was a light at the end of the tunnel so to speak. 3 months came and went, my daughter is almost 6 months old. She is still a nightmare. She screams bloody murder if I put her down, she won't play with her toys unless I am right there with her and touching her. She has to see me at all times or she loses it. When I go to the bathroom I put her on my bed where she can still see me, sitting up with toys, and the moment I turn around she screams at the top of her lungs. She continues to scream until I am done. I can't get anything done around the house until my husband comes home, and by that time I am so drained I don't want to do anything except roll up in a ball and sleep. She cries for my husband as well. She is only happy if I am holding her. She is happy when my husband holds her, but only if he is walking around. I am at the end of my rope. Completely exhausted, depressed, and overwhelmed. The doctor put me on Zoloft for my depression and I am seeing a therapist. I have my good days but most of them are filled with a screaming crying baby. I sure hope this gets better soon. I'm at the point I want to put her in daycare and have someone else deal with her crying. My whole life I wanted to be a stay at home mom and raise my children and be there for them always, but I didn't think it was going to be like this. Now I'm a 30 year old depressed, part time working mom, with hope that things will turn around and get better.
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Post by Leticia on Jan 22, 2014 0:21:01 GMT -5
Do u think she cries in pain or it's behavioral? There are places to help with that, here In Australia it's called sleep school, it teaches u how to cope, techniques of how to react etc. everything you've explained is what I'm going through & my daughter is 4 months but she screams in pain constantly. We've tried everything & I'm still waiting to really enjoy her & take the pram out instead of constantly stressing staring at my 4 walls & wonder when the next scream will occur!!
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