Exhausted mom of colicky baby...HELP!

[vanny]

First I would like to say, this is my first thread EVER and thank goodness for this forum!  I'm 29 years old, a first time mom to a colicky 9 week old son.  My boyfriend and I never wanted kids and were very taken aback when we found out we were expecting. We both eventually got very excited about our baby and after a very long and grueling labor and delivery we were thrilled when he was born!  Oh man, the first 3 weeks were such a breeze, it wasn't until week 4 (when daddy went back to work) that things took a turn for the worse! My baby boy isn't as severe as a lot of parent's babies on this forum (or as bad as I was as a baby. I apparently screamed from 6am-10pm all day everyday for the first 4 months of my life). Although I would never take him back, I feel cheated! This is what parenthood is like?!?! Why does anyone ever have more than 1 kid?!?! And to plan it none the less!!  I took 8 weeks off of work and imagined a wonderful bonding experience with my bundle of joy. It has been a disaster! I have bawled (daily for a few weeks), had terrible thoughts of harming my child, wanted to run away and thought about putting him up for adoption!!  I'm his mother for goodness sake! I should know what to do for my child! To this day, he is such a mystery! I don't know if he is hungry, bored, angry or doesn't feel good! The only thing that consistently works is feeding him. He can be in a full force, all out rage, screaming at the top of his lungs and forgetting to breathe and when my nipple or a bottle touches his lips he INSTANTLY stops crying. When I breast feed him, he sometimes gets very aggressive with my nipple. He chomps down as hard as he can, pulls his head back with my nipple in his mouth and stretches it to the limit.  He seems to like to eat for a few minutes, play with my nipple and then lets it pop out of his mouth. He also opens his mouth as wide as he can and bobs his head around my nipple as if he can't get latched on. I know latching is not the problem. He seems extremely frantic when he does this. I ask myself daily, am I starving my child since he wants to eat constantly (even though he is growing like a weed)?!? Am I over-feeding him? There are times he will eat 9+ ounces in an hour and a half! His belly gets so swollen I can't believe it doesn't burst! Will I ever figure this little guy out?!?!   My son is EXTREMELY irritable and restless all day long.  He seems to have SEVERE gas or problems pooping.  He is a very inconsistent pooper, if it has been a couple days we try to stimulate his bowels with a q-tip.  I can feel bubbles and hear gurgles in his belly all the time and he pushes and struggles to release pressure all day when he is awake, even in his sleep.  Most nights he squirms so much his head ends up smashed against the side of the crib, and let me tell you, he HATES that!  I'm fortunate that he sleeps through the night, only getting up once to eat, and has done that since 2 weeks old.  Naps during the day are virtually non existent though.  On the rare occasion he will sleep for 3-4 hours mid day, but most of the time he sleeps 15 minutes here, 30 there, 10 minutes here...He is exhausted all the time.  I feel like I try to put him to sleep all day long.  I have tried letting him cry it out in his crib.  If he tires out, he never sleeps for long!  I will admit I have a hard time letting him cry for more than 10 minutes, especially if I know his tummy hurts.  When he is awake, he must be attached to some part of my body constantly, or have a pacifier in his mouth (which does not stay in his mouth for more than a few seconds.  I must admit I have taped the pacifier to his cheeks for a few minutes of sanity!).  If I set him down he cries almost instantly.   He doesn't scream all day long, but has several fits a day.  This usually escalates to a piercing screamy cry, his face turns as red as a tomato, and he occasionally doesn't breath for 10-20 seconds.  Some days the fussiness is nearly non stop. 

I, like most of you, have tried EVERYTHING!!!!!  I breastfeed and have drastically changed my diet.  We have tried formula (we now mix formula with my breast milk, he seems slightly more satisfied).  He is on pro-biotics and gets gas drops regularly. I have tried 4 different kinds of gripe water, added rice cereal to his bottle, have been to a chiropractor, to the doctor, even had an appointment with a Homeopath and tried a remedy.  We bounce, jiggle, rock, lay on the dryer, take baths, distract him with toys, listen to all kinds of music, try tummy time, play a guitar or harmonica for him, work his legs trying to "push out those poops", i talk to him, sing to him, walk laps around the house, sit him up, make him stand, lay him under his activity gym, look at himself in the mirror, on and on......after a couple minutes, he's over it, so on to the next thing!  He HATES his bouncy seat, the swing, especially his car seat and car rides!  We spend most of our days on his changing table.   For whatever reason, he loves it. My boyfriend and I joke about getting one for every room in the house, which sounds like a good idea most days! The changing table is in front of 2 big windows, so it is nice and bright (the rest of our house is very dark).  He holds my middle fingers tightly in his hands as my index finger keeps the pacifier in his mouth and I talk to him for hours on end!  We have "fart parties" where we try working out his gas.  Sometimes I am able to get him to fart, sometimes not.  His stuffed animal friends hang out for moral support and I show him each of the toys, tell him their names and something about each of them.  He seems to be excessively clingy/needy, also very sensitive physically, emotionally and to his surroundings (people's energies included).  I realize babies need their parents, but this is extreme!  I cannot hold him 24/7 when I have a household to take care of!  When he is cat napping, I have to make decisions such as....hmmm, should I take a shower for the first time in 3 days or eat some lunch, or is scrubbing the raunchy toilet or doing dishes more important?   

I feel like most people don't really understand what it is like to have a colicky baby.  I have a cousin who had a baby 6 days before me, and her little girl is so happy and easy and fusses maybe one day out of the week. I find myself being pissed at her!!  Why did she get a content baby?!  I cannot take him anywhere, he has yet to take a trip to the store with me!  I feel most of my family gets upset when we don't go to family events.  They don't understand how much work it is to get him out of the house!  I have to get myself ready, pack his stuff, start the car (as it has been bitterly cold this winter), load the car, get him in his dreaded car seat and have him scream the entire ride.  I then carry all my bags and baby in, get him out of his car seat, try to calm him down, change his clothes (he sweats through them when he screams in his seat) and pass him off.  Is it worth the hour or 2 of having someone else jiggle and rock and comfort him just to repeat the above for the trip home?!  Nope!  It is easier to stay home and suffer!

All my research and talking with parents who have experienced this all say the same thing, he will grow out of it.  I so look forward to this day! All I want is for my little guy to feel good and be happy! There are moments few and far between when I see the sweet little boy I know is in there.  His big bright blue eyes staring into mine, his adorable gummy smile and intense interest in his surroundings.  He is typically happy first thing in the morning after he wakes up, and it all goes downhill  from there.  When things get really bad I try to remember the moments that make it worth it.   I'm lucky to have a partner who is so helpful and willing to give mom a break when I've had enough.  I have gotten good at stepping away for a few when I'm about to scream.  I am better at asking for help when i need it.  I recently bought a natural stress reliever remedy called Rescue Me Pastilles.  You can find these online or at a health food store.  It definitely helps me chill out.  The calmer I am, the calmer my baby is. Bottom line, this is a SO much harder than I ever expected and can't wait for parenting feel rewarding!  I want my family and friends to be able to enjoy him and oohh and ahhh over him!  I want to feel as if I'm not being judged as if I'm a bad parent because my child cries and fusses so frequently!  I swear I'm not doing anything wrong!!  I would greatly appreciate any tips, advice, support or words of encouragement!  I'm pretty sure I will survive this, and feel better that I'm not the only one out there who does not enjoy being a parent 95% of the time.  Thank you to anyone and everyone who reads this and or replies!  I will do my best to check back periodically to get other's opinions on this matter.  It may not be right away, as I am a little preoccupied these days!


 

[mrssandoval]

I am so dead tired, working on just over 30 minutes of sleep in the past 48hrs. I will write more when I can, but I can tell you your story is identical to mine, only I'm married.

My DS is too smart to fall for a swing or any other distraction; he knows I'm avoiding him! I'm pushed to the breaking point and I'm wiling to give up everything I own just to make my son get over this and be happy.

Please know that you're an excellent mom. Look at what all you've done for your DS so far! He's sooooooo fortunate he has a mommy that tries this hard and cares this much.

Those thoughts we have are normal. What's not normal is to act on them. I just remind myself my DS's is a baby and knows not what he do. He can't be culpable for his actions of he doesn't even know what he's doing!

I remind myself my DS is a baby, MY baby, and he deserves everything I can possibly give him, including my love and devotion. His well-being is first and foremost, so when I'm feeling completely helpless and frantic, I remind myself this shall pass and that I love my DS with all my heart.

[vanny]

mrssandoval,
I'm sorry to hear of your lack of sleep!! That makes being a parent of a colicky child all the more challenging! Thank you for your reply, I would never wish a colicky baby onto anyone, however I'm glad I am not alone! Sometimes I cannot believe how much I love my little guy, considering how difficult he has made my life! After posting last night, I did some research on "high needs" babies, and I would say he qualifies! As much as I'd like to give up at times, I'm hoping there is a life lesson in all of this! Maybe I'm supposed to learn extreme patience and true unconditional love. I would NEVER hurt my child and when I have terrible thoughts I know it is time for a break! I live in a small town and a week or so ago, a mother killed her 18 month old daughter via head trauma. How devastating! Things like this do not happen where I live! My heart goes out to the little girl and her family! I do not know specifics, I just wish it had a different ending! Keep your chin up and I hope you get some well deserved sleep!!

[ariasmom]

hi Vanny! I read your entire post, twice! I completely understand what you are going through, you are not alone though I am sure it feels like it!
My husband and I, were not planning on having a baby when we did. I was not sure if I wanted kids, I never understood all my baby crazy friends who wanted to have a baby. In fact, when a friend would tell me they were pregnant, i would be happy for them, but almost sad that I was losing a wine buddy. I didn't hate kids or anything, but I just could see that they were a lot of work and everyone I knew with kids was exhausted. I would be the one to make jokes about how uninterested I was in seeing people's child pics on Facebook. I started thinking i wanted to be free to do whatever I wanted in life and whenever. Then 2 of my best friends became pregnant at the same time, and the funny thing was I was late for my period, oops! So of course like some crazy coincidence I because pregnant too! We were weeks a part, It was insane, you can't plan this! These were my closest friends. So while they were joyous about the whole thing, I was hysterical!!!!! My whole life, changing, I can never be irresponsible and it was my aging inevitability as a human being seeming more real now. I was also 29. Eventually I because excited about it, and got to be pregnant with my 2 besties which does make things easier, but that whole thing backfired too.
So I found it kinda ironic when my baby girl on DAY 2 became a nightmare! Of course I had to have the fussiest baby on the block, me the one who knew kids were a pain and was hesitant in the first place! Even still, I had no idea what I was in for. We got home from the hospital and I swear my baby girl never stopped crying. I was a wreck, breastfeeding was painful enough, but I had a 9lb girl thingyl birth, a long 23 hour horrible labor and the horror never seemed to end. She would never be full, we even snuck her some formula in the hospital because the breastfeeding militia wouldn't let me give her any but she was sooooooo hungry before my milk came in.
Anyway, my husband and I never slept, and my baby barely slept. We would spend hours on end trying to get her to sleep. I was a zombie and had so much anxiety that when I tried to sleep, I couldn't anyway. I don't even know how I ever functioned. I was severely depressed, cried everyday just like my baby. I thought about killing myself. I even had the same thoughts about hurting my child but would NEVER act on it. I knew she didn't know anything and didn't mean to cry all day, but I just wanted her to shut up! I swear the sound of her crying did something to my brain, it like enraged me if I couldn't stop it.

I told my friend who was on the verge of giving birth, call me if it gets hard because its really tough at first. I was waiting for the comfort of my friend's experience but instead she got a perfect calm sleeping bundle of joy. I couldn't believe how easy her baby was. Of course people thought I was over reacting or exaggerating my baby's behavior, then they would meet her and tell me their kid wasn't like that. So when people would tell me " isn't it wonderful" I would think to myself " hell no" I mean how could anyone think this is wonderful, or ever wanna do this again?? I would try to go out with my friends and their babies, and it would just high light how different she was. Crying and screaming the whole time while their kids just stared. It made me so upset I would just cry.
I couldn't even think of the future, what's the future? No fun for me ever again. I felt like I couldn't even have anyone ever watch her because she's a nightmare. My mom took her for the night when she was 4 weeks to help me get some rest. My mom thought she had 3 babies so she would be able to handle it. When I came over the next morning to pick her up my mom was not feeling good from being up ALL NIGHT trying to get her to sleep.

My husband was a colic baby and I don't know anything about it other than that. My mother in law passed away a few years ago so I couldn't ask her about it but I remember her telling me quietly one day that my husband was colicky as a baby. Wish I would have listened and asked about it then but how was I to know it'd happen to me. So I believe it is hereditary. Also my baby had a lot of gas, I think all babies have some bad gas though, so honestly I don't think thats was causes our little ones to be so colicky. I truly believe its a bit of that, but I think it's their personality. Some babies are just bored, they are born bored. They are smart and want more out of life already! They are not satisfied by staring into space or at toys even. They are high needs, or spirited or whatever.

We tried everything too. We had bouncy seats and swings and all that crap. Mine also liked the changing table in the beginning. I even use to put her on the changing pad in her pack n play to calm her. Sometimes things would work but usually they didn't and I just rotated through everything. I was miserable and hid in my home. I didn't wanna go anywhere because it was too much stress and then I would just get depressed at how good everyone else's kids were. I mean everything would set me off to cry. I still feel cheated. Feeling cheated is the perfect way to describe it.

Anyway, things got better, certainly not over night. But now I have a toddler 1 year old. And my friend and her perfect baby, perfect no more! Her kid screams and still wakes at night and is totally wild at times. So I love having a toddler so much more than having and infant. I mean don't get me wrong, its still tough and has its challenges but now everyone else with a toddler is going through the same crap. I'm not the only one anymore. And now that my girl can walk and have fun with things and explore, she is so much happier. And now that she sleeps better I am so much happier. Every once and a while I still have a bad day, but nothing like those first 3 or 4 months! Worst 4 months ever, I HATED my child. My friends would never understand so when they'd say " isn't it wonderful" I would just say "yea but its hard". I too try to look for the lesson in all this. I can't figure it out. I feel like its life playing a sick joke on me and I'm not sure I was the best person to handle it. But I do say having the attitude and approach of humor and C'est La Vie will really help. I mean, it's not the end of the world that they are crying all the time right? Just go outside because fresh air is the answer for everything. And accept help if anyone offers. They don't have to deal with it everyday like you. It will pass but it does feel like eternity in the moment. I could go on and on about my experience but it's people like you that help me not feel so alone and though I haven't met anyone else my age with a colic baby, we are a part of a larger group of people that have had this experience that other's know nothing about. We are some strong women and we get pro at it as time goes on. Baby in one hand, diaper in the other, ready to take on the world!
Please, post on here anytime you just wanna vent something. Any little or big thing, we are here for ya!

[gh]

Hi there....I too am a first time mom to a seven week old COLIC BABY since week one .I'm married, 30 years old, planned on having this one and had a wonderful, exciting pregnancy after the horrible morning sickness passed (I thought THOSE 20 weeks were going to be my "challenge"). I too have been going through the difficulties of having a baby who cries hours of the day (NOT just the evening....I wish) and I don't know what to do with him! He is so high needs, I cannot even set him down to sleep. We were forced into co-sleeping with him after the first week of neither me nor my husband getting sleep. Now I sleep with him on a matress on the floor in his nursery with no blanket and one flat pillow to try to make it as safe as possible. It helps him with night sleeping, but is still stressful due to the risk of SIDS/safety issue. He will not be set down to nap, and I am force to hold him the entire day and night and even then he is inconsolable for at least 3 hours a day even in my arms....don't get me wrong, I love holding him, but at times, I can't even move to get a drink of water for fear of waking him up or upsetting him and starting the vicious crying cycle all over again. To make it worse, I had a third degree tear with delivery and have been having pain and anxiety with my daily bowel movement and simple activities like lifting the baby, walking around with him and going up and down the stairs. Also, I am supposed to be taking 3 sitz baths a day to help it heal....I fear that things are not healing as they should with strange bulges and lingering pain to add to the stress. My follow-up is next Thursday.

My husband and I have tried all of the traditional soothing methods non-stop, dryer, swing, the 5 S's, bicycle legs etc, have revisited most of them multiple times. Sometimes one thing will work for a minute, and we will think we have found the answer only to have him wailing 15 minutes later. We bought a 180 dollar swing which worked for 2 days before he started hating it. We bought a 70 dollar rock in play and a 60 dollar on-the-bed sleeper which he never used because he refused. We have a fancy bassinet which we joke we put him in when we want him to wake up....it works for that. I started a dairy-free, gluten free diet a week ago. I have done block feeding b/c it seemed as though I had signs of an oversupply. We have not tried any medicines or drops b/c we don't believe they will help and have resigned ourselves to the fact that we have a colicky baby.

I feel so guilty many times thinking things like I want to just run away, give him up for adoption or cover his mouth when he is screaming. I have thought things like "oh that BAAADDDDD baby", or "DEVIL BABY" when he is crying and I am on my last nerve, and many of the same sentiments you have expressed. My husband has been very supportive, taking him for 4 hours in the evening after he gets home from work and only brining him to me for feedings, while I sleep with earplugs (even then I hear phantom wailing and pull them out to either hear him crying or to silence), but it means I go to bed at 7 PM and we don't spend any time together. We have been fighting a lot more, second guessing our baby's health, and I in particular have been second guessing my ability to parent. To make it worse, my sister had her baby 5 months ago who is a little angel and "barely cries" in her words. I am so jealous. I am even jealous of you because your baby is 2 weeks older and it means will be done being colicky that much sooner. I am jealous of the moms who get to leave their house with their babies. I have not left the house in over 2 weeks. The only times I have gone out since he has been born were for his and my doctor appointments and for his dedication at church and once to Walgreens on a Saturday morning when my husband had him...it is just too much like you said, and I too feel like my relatives (especially my inlaws) are judging us and thinking we just don't have the parenting skills. They have no idea what it is like and the few times they have been over here, he has been on his best behavior of course.....sigh

Finally, as one of the posters said, I think you are right that it is hereditary, my mom always said I was a colicky baby, but apparently mostly in the evening...I also hope like you that this means he is just so sensitive to his environment and smart that he is taking everything in and just sometimes a bit overwhelmed by his environment or sometimes bored because he is so intelligent. I do feel like he is easily bored by his playmat as well and sometimes like he is having surprisingly deep thoughts.

I just want to love him soooooo much but it is hard when he is so bad. Like you, the only thing that gets me through is seeing his smile every now and then...now usually once or twice a day...especially when he is breastfeeding and I tell him I love him and he looks up and me with his mouth still on my nipple and smiles. Prayer has been getting me through too. I am a Christian and I think God gave me this baby because my husband and I have everything pretty easy in life and He wants to bring us closer to Him. I pray when my baby cries that God give me strength, take away his crying and bring us closer to Him. I imagine that I am just like my baby, crying in God's arms even when all of my needs are met, and God just continues to pour out His love on me, the way I try to with my baby...only I know that God's love is perfect and that I am not perfect, and that God loves me and forgives me perfectly the way I try to as an imperfect parent. I am so grateful for these threads b/c I know that I am not the only one struggling with a high-needs child and that my feelings are normal and that things will eventually get better. I am looking forward to the 12-16 week mark and praying that mine is not one that goes longer...Originally wanted 4 kids, now wondering how people have more than one...sight....kisses to all of our little ones...G

.

[GH]

Vanny, My baby boy also seems to have a lot of stomach gurgles, more than I think was normal. Have you looked into oversupply issues with breastfeeding? It sounds like you have the same symptoms at the boob that I had, and although I am no lactation consultant, I began block-feeing, and it seemed to help with his fussiness/crying/arching with passing gas/poop at the very least and some of the boob problems like arching away, fussing, banging his head. Also, I have become obsessive about burping him even if I can't get him to burp, and get really annoyed when he swallows air/pulls off. He still has stomach gurgles and swallows a lot of air, but doesn't seem to have as much "pain" with gas. I know they say colic is not gas pain, and I hope it is not b/c I would feel horrible imagining my baby was in pain all of that time, but I think he is just annoyed by the sensation of his bowels moving since he is so sensitive. Block feeding does seem to have helped a bit with his gassy fussiness, now he usually just stares into space when he has to poop or gas.

[Beth]

I, too, have a colic baby. Hence why I'm up at 2:56. Heredity seems to be my conclusion a well. Since my mom had it, I had it, my son it, and now my 1 month old daughter. I don't think others should get on here giving advice. If I have one more mom tell me how something worked for them I will scream. I have tried it all. Although I think probiotics have "helped". Nothing has made a huge difference. My daughter sleeps with me. On my chest. Yes, it's wrong. And her pediatrician about fainted when I told her but idc. It's that or go crazy! I'm not sitting him beside me in his playpen/bassinet that I paid extra for (bassinet) so that she can cry every half hour or sooner. My boyfriend sleeps on the couch so he can get sleep. I'm taking FMLA after maternity leave because there is no way we could hold down our jobs with no sleep. Too dangerous. I'm a part of a baby site in fb and have taken advice from all the moms that have found something that has worked. But the true colic moms say they are sorry and offer no advice. Because they kno that nothing really works. I enjoyed reading all these posts. Makes md feel normal. I kno others struggle too. I'm hanging in there. Some nights are more challenging than others...

[kellycarter]

Feb 11, 2014 10:08:51 GMT -5 vanny said:

mrssandoval,
I'm sorry to hear of your lack of sleep!! That makes being a parent of a colicky child all the more challenging! Thank you for your reply, I would never wish a colicky baby onto anyone, however I'm glad I am not alone! Sometimes I cannot believe how much I love my little guy, considering how difficult he has made my life! After posting last night, I did some research on "high needs" babies, and I would say he qualifies! As much as I'd like to give up at times, I'm hoping there is a life lesson in all of this! Maybe I'm supposed to learn extreme patience and true unconditional love. I would NEVER hurt my child and when I have terrible thoughts I know it is time for a break! I live in a small town and a week or so ago, a mother killed her 18 month old daughter via head trauma. How devastating! Things like this do not happen where I live! My heart goes out to the little girl and her family! I do not know specifics, I just wish it had a different ending! Keep your chin up and I hope you get some well deserved sleep!!

[Sarah]

Vanny,

Huge ditto from me. I have an 8.5 week old screaming bundle of stress. I also have friends with angel babies within a week of the same age of my devil baby. It's so tough to see the comparison of 'how it could be' in such an obvious way.

I know it's important to get a break (and do I need it!), but I feel guilty about putting someone else through this misery...and now sure how to find someone willing to do it. I'm having trouble asking for help outside of my husband and mom. Do any of you have recommendations for how to find caregivers willing and qualified to take care of such a high needs baby? Did you look for certain criteria, pay them more, and/or let them know upfront what they're getting into?

Thanks,
Sarah

[Try a Probiotic]

Hi Vanny,

I have an unconventional solution to help with your colicky baby. Try a probiotic! According to a blog on EndoMune.com (noLinks://endomune.com/blog/soothe-your-babys-colic-with-probiotics/), a recent study has found that babies with infantile colic had an inflamed intestine caused by certain bacteria. Pump your baby with beneficial bacteria and avoid intestinal inflammation. EndoMune Jr is a powder probiotic that requires no refrigeration and is easy to fit into your child's meals. You can buy EndoMune Jr. at: noLinkss://endomune.com/shop/

Hope this helps!

[anon]

Hi there,

You might want to check and see if your son has infant reflux. My son had silent reflux that showed up around 5-6 weeks. He couldn't get enough to eat because the milk was soothing his throat and he had terrible pain from the reflux - all the eating made him too bloated and gassy... a vicious cycle. I had him tested with a barium swallow exam and sure enough it was reflux. We started him on Zantac for babies and after a week or two it seemed to work and regulate him. It was very difficult. He had to sleep reclined every night and we had to keep him upright longer after feedings. He is 18 months now and FINE!! You will get through this. I would have your child checked just to make sure.

[Martiiinez]

This post made me laugh and cry at the same time. Every line you posted is EXACTLY what I'm going through right now. My son is 6 weeks right now and cries ALL day long from 5 am to 10 pm and in between waking through the night for feedings. We have tried everything, gripe water, mylecone drops, colic drops, chamomile tea, home remedies, probiotics, swings, rock n play, some mamaroo thing that was close to $300, home remedies from every culture, moby wraps, boppys, NOTHING works, the only time he doesn't cry is when he has a bottle in his mouth. The dr finally put him in a hypoallergenic formula with probiotics (which is $150 for a 12oz can, which I will gladly give up my life savings if it works), but we are on day 3 with no improvement. I'm so sad I cry every day I feel like I hate my baby, then the 30 seconds he doesn't cry and he finally smiles I cry even more because I'm so sorry im inpatient with him, and I tell myself it's worse for him than me...he is the one crying. Nothing works, nothing helps, I stay home and feel like I'm in prison. My life is horrible and I'm counting down the days to 4 months when people say it finally stops..

And to makes things worse....he is a TWIN. So on top of having this baby...I have another baby to change, feed, bathe, soothe when crying, hold, put to sleep. And of course, they dont sleep at the same time so there is no "sleep when the baby sleeps". Hang in there...hopefully this nightmare will be over soon. Just helps knowing we are not alone in this madness!