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Post by llamajenn on Dec 7, 2007 11:58:15 GMT -5
Just when things were starting to go well.... We're over the colic, teething hasn't started (at least there aren't any teeth yet), stomach bug has passed....
Now he's getting major separation anxiety. I was just reading about it one morning, how it's normal around this age, and then he decided to demonstrate it that night at his grandma's. He just wailed and wailed. He was there for less than 3 hours and spent much of it crying. I felt so bad, because it was almost automatic -- as soon as I passed him to her, he started bawling. Then last night, we stayed there with him for a couple hours to see if that made a difference. Nope. Even if he could see me or my husband or we were right in front of him, he still cried. He would be fine for a minute or 2 when she held him, and then it was as if he'd just realize that I wasn't holding him and he'd lose it.
It's so bizarre, because she has known him since Day 1, He's spent at least 2 evenings a week at her house since he was born and even used to do better there than at home during his colicky days. So I don't know what to do. Now that I think of it, he didn't do so well in the nursery at church last week either -- until Chris or I came in.
Agh. Now I feel guilty leaving him with his grandma or anyone else. I don't know what to do. She says it's just a phase and it will pass soon. I hope so.
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Post by mommyof2gurlies on Dec 7, 2007 12:04:49 GMT -5
It is a stage...Brooklyn goes in and out of it.
Sometimes shes AWFUl. Like i mentioned in the other post, she even does that with daddy. She'll scream if i leave her with him and run to the store. The other day he told me it was like she was back in her colic days. She screamed from the time i left till the time i walked in the door...then she was a happy camper.
I think it comes and goes, but it definitley wont last forever. I think it really helps to not FORCE them to go to others, but definitley encourage it.
It is really common at the age he is at now....Brooklyn was doing it bad. She would scream if anyone even got close to her. Now she lets people hold her but every once in awhile she'll freak out.
I think its pretty normal
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Post by llamajenn on Dec 7, 2007 12:26:21 GMT -5
Thanks, Tamara. I just feel so terrible about it. My MIL understands, but still.... She loves him so much and always looks forward to seeing him (she lives alone and doesn't have many close friends around, so he's a big highlight in her life). I can't imagine what it would be like if he did that with his dad, too. I don't know how you survive.
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Post by basy45 on Dec 7, 2007 13:29:07 GMT -5
I have the same problem with Samuel, but it seemed to start a little early with him, and continues to be a problem. We're now at the point where he will let his grandparents hold him for a couple of minutes before he freaks out, but that's about it. We still have never left him with anyone... ever. I can't stand to upset him like that if there isn't a really good reason. Of course my MIL thinks it is our fault that he is like this. Of course she has pretty much implied that any problems that may exist with him are all our fault - B I T C H.
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Post by mommyof2gurlies on Dec 8, 2007 9:53:10 GMT -5
It really does pass....
I know, Brooklyn did it for a LOOONG while. She still has not been babysat or left with anyone besides myself or my hubby...EVER.
So i guess thats part of our doing, but it really is a big stage. Any baby developmental site will tell you that.
I used to go to this coffee shop after i dropped Mya off at preschool...and Brooklyn was always totally smiley to everyone, happiest baby ever till someone tried to hold her or walked up and held her hand. She'd freak out screaming. I felt bad one day this little old lady walked up and said hi to her and grabbed her little finger. Brooklyn LOST IT.
Now days we go in there, and the ladies take her behind the counter and hold her, and shes fine. Occasionally she'll look at me and start to whimper and look worried...and I just act happy ....she really picks up on how I am reacting. If i look nervous at all, like she MIGHT not be comfortable she knows...and will get upset. If i look confident about it and talk to her while shes being held by someone she will be okay.
It takes time, but it will get better. Like i said, Brooklyn still occasionally does it, but it does pass for the most part. It won't be forever.
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Post by mommyof2gurlies on Dec 8, 2007 9:54:01 GMT -5
btw, Tell your MIL to kiss your A$$...she sounds like a B I T C H
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Post by pamcrt on Dec 8, 2007 12:40:41 GMT -5
Laura, doesn't that just piss you off when people imply that the "reason" your baby is "sick, difficult, has issues, is colicky, can't eat, sleep, throws up, cries, poops, pees, or WHATEVER" is YOUR FAULT!!! Holy cow if I hear that EVER again, I will punch that person in the freaking face. I am SSSOOO tired of stupid a s s people. Like I CHOSE to have a colicky baby as opposed to a nice quiet peacefully sleeping baby??? Whatever loser... Anyway... I think I have totally created a monster in Abby with this one. The other day when I took her to work with me one of the ladies wanted to hold her and she actually went to her, but when she realized she wasn't in MY arms, she started crying and looking for me. I felt so bad, but all I said was, "it's ok Abby, you're fine." So she stayed in her arms for a few more minutes until she just couldn't handle it anymore. I feel so horrible that the child will not go to anyone else but me, my husband, my mom, and occasionally his mom. (Of course as I am writing this I am out of town and my baby is left with his mother... what the hell was I thinking?  ---> everyone pray for my children... seriously) She is just so attached to me. When we are out in public she is okay with people looking at her and talking to her, especially men- she's a flirt and will smile and give them "the eye", but Heaven help us all if you want to hold her. It ain't gonna happen. No way. Not in this life time. She will squeeze her legs tight around me and hold on for dear life. Like I am trying to throw her off me or something. Used to when Steven came home from work he would try to hold her and she would just cry because she wanted me. Now when he comes home, if he doesn't IMMEDIATELY acknowledge her, she will scream until he picks her up and gives her love. And if he tried to put her down she just cries and cries. I'm like, now you know how I feel ALL DAY LONG!! But I'm glad that at least now she is wanting to go to him as before she really didn't want anything to do with him. It makes him feel better. I did tell him though that I was thinking about putting her in daycare like 2 days a week or something. Something to get her used to other people and children. She is so fascinated by other babies and kids, she always wants to play with them, I feel bad that she doesn't have that interaction during the day, only when her sisters come home and then half the time I have to force them to play with her so I can get dinner fixed or something. Oh well, such is life right... |
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Post by mommyof2gurlies on Dec 8, 2007 12:49:00 GMT -5
I have to try and make Mya play with Brooklyn sometimes, but for the most part she loves to play with her and see her and wake her up.... She wants to be the one that tells her goodnight, the one that tells her good morning when she wakes up in her crib...everything. She wants to be the mommy pretty much. Occasionally she gets a little out of hand and tries to annoy the crap out of Brooklyn....ie: putting things on her head, covering her with a blanket, putting a bowl on her head, showing her a toy long enough to get her excited and interested in it...then snatching it away from her. Typical sibling stuff i suppose. Brookie is ALWAYS pulling Mya's hair (Mya purposely leaves her hair within Brookies reach....so she can grab it then looks at me and says "MMMOOOMMMMYYYY SSSSISSSSY grabbed my hairrrrr!" YA THINK?!?!?  Brooklyn still pulls that crap with my husband. If shes fixed on being with mommy...if i even walk out the front door she'll flip her lid. She is NOT happy about it. She lets you know when shes not happy about anything. Mya gave her a lick of her candy cane lastnight...she was all into it...then the minute Mya took it away she screamed bloody murder for like 5 mins. All over the darn candy cane. Shes very stubborn....just like Mya. If Mya gets in trouble i put her on time out and make her say sorry. She is not allowed to get up until she apologizes. THIS KID WILL SAY EVERYTHING that sounds like "sorry" without saying sorry. She will say "borry" "torry" whatever....because shes too stubborn to say "sorry" She would rather make up all these ridiculous words than having to REALLY apologize. MAN that drives me crazy. She is already SOOOO stubborn. It will take me like 10 mins of arguing with her and her saying weird words, to finally get her to say a quick and barely audible "sorry". grrrr. drives me NUTS! |
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Post by pamcrt on Dec 8, 2007 14:37:41 GMT -5
My bio daughter Masie is absolutely in love with Abby. She wants to be up her butt all the time. Hold her, feed her, change her diaper (even when it's poopy), but she annoys the hell out of Abby. Abby can not handle Masie being in her face. God love her, she just wants to play with the baby so bad, but Abby just wants her like, at arms length, but Masie wants to be in her face. The other girls aren't so bad, Maddy is better because she's the oldest and honestly, has had to go through more sibling births than the others, so she's an old pro at having babies around. (isn't that horrible!! ) The other 2, Bella & Lesleigh, they like to play with Abby, but Bella has an issue with Abby crying and can't handle it. She literally will have a melt down if Abby cries to long and I can't get her settled, which will send Bella into frantics that I have to just send her into another room. She has a mild social/behavioral problem that we are dealing with. Lesleigh, she's just a trouble maker and is very loud, always wants things her way and always takes Abby's toys. Man that pisses me off. I am always telling her to give the baby back her toys. I should not have to tell a 4 yr old to quit playing with baby toys! AARRGGHH!!!! But whatever... |
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Post by mommyof2gurlies on Dec 8, 2007 23:55:24 GMT -5
Yah...we go thru that problem alot. Mya ALWAYS wants to hold her. Thats ALL she wants to do....she loves to hold her, squeeze her, whatever. Brookie LOVES the attention, but even SHE gets irritated by it. Sometimes she gets this look like "ENOUGH ALREADY" Usually Mya can mess with her for hours and poke at her and include her in her games by making her something weird.....and she'll just sit and stare at Mya , babbling and giggling. Eating it up.... And other days Mya touches her and she just comes unGLUED. So begins the life of siblings i suppose........ Its all new to me Thre have never been siblings for Mya in the house yet, so its interesting to watch the dynamics go down!! Mya sings all the time "I am the cute one.....She is my sister" from Mary Kate and Ashley (someone gave us an old tape of theirs) and thats the song in it. When she gets mad she shakes her fists and sings LOUDLY: "I AM THE CUTE ONE!!! SHE IS MY SISTER" lol |
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Post by pamcrt on Dec 9, 2007 9:15:44 GMT -5
Wow, I don't think that song would work in my house!! Although, I would say Abby is the cute one, THEY are the sisters!!! Mainly because they talk, get into things and in general, annoy the poop out of me! LOL |
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Post by mommyof2gurlies on Dec 9, 2007 10:25:37 GMT -5
just wait till Abby is big enough to sing the words |
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---> everyone pray for my children... seriously) She is just so attached to me. When we are out in public she is okay with people looking at her and talking to her, especially men- she's a flirt and will smile and give them "the eye", but Heaven help us all if you want to hold her. It ain't gonna happen. No way. Not in this life time. She will squeeze her legs tight around me and hold on for dear life. Like I am trying to throw her off me or something. 