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Post by mallysmommy on Dec 8, 2007 20:50:19 GMT -5
Today I decide to be brave and took Mallory to my great aunts birthday party. Al days she's been all smiley and gurgly and I really thought we could have a good time. So WRONG! We were there for like 5 minutes when she started screaming hysterically. No reason, just because she can. I was soo embarassed, everyone was shooting me these looks like I was a terrible mommy. To make it even better there were 3 other babys there (yup, the fam is a buch of baby makers) , all less than a month old (Mallory is 2 months), and they started howling shortly after she did. One of the other moms was talking to her mom and flat out said that my Mally started it. I know she did but there was no reason to be so insensitive. They all have heard from my mom how bad the colic has gotten lately and just didn't care! How can people be so insensitive? I was obviously upset too and noone cared! Has anyone else expireinced this?
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Post by mommyof2gurlies on Dec 8, 2007 22:37:35 GMT -5
omg you cannot believe the levels of embrassment we've had when Brooklyn was at her WORST. I don't know why or how we did....but we took her to Disneyworld, all the way from Oregon. We do EVERY year with my hubbys family.....so we couldnt exactly cancel. Some parts of it went better than expected, but OMG. We had an 8 hour flight...with a 3 month old colicky baby. She did AWESOME on the plane, its just the entire rest of the trip was a mess. We were there for a week and a half! We took my 3 year old to "dinner with the princesses" and a bunch of other nice restaurants and she screamed the ENTIRE meal. Most of the trip i spent bouncing or rocking her while she was screaming PRAYING she'd stop. I had SOOOOO many mean women and look at me and say "Your baby is screaming because shes too hot" "Are you not feeding that baby??" or just simple looks of "what a S H I T T Y mother you are" Even my mother in law, who is a really really understanding LOVING lady said "wow, when i was holding her....i know what you mean about getting embrassed....People are so mean and stare and say rude things to you" She was embarassed when we left her with her for like 10 mins to go on a ride together. She has 5 kids, i never would have guessed that would get to her.....but apparently after seeing what we had been really talking about and telling her how we felt like, she understood. FINALLY. Especially at Disneyworld you'd think people would be understanding....If you dont like kids, and dont want to hear a baby cry WHY IS GODS NAME WOULD YOU GO TO DISNEYWORLD FOR VACATION? It is rough when they do that. We went thru it all....shopping trips where we dreaded buying more than 2 things. Driving everywhere with the windows up because she screamed SO loud, people thought we were beating her in the back of our car or something.... All i can say is it TOTALLY sucks....its hard, its embarassing, but what can you do? She'll get over it......its not forever......just get thru it as best you can and try to ignore people. That was really hard for me to do...i really let it get to me. Sometimes i would talk my baby when people were staring and say "yes...i know all these people are staring at us huh???They all act like theyve never heard a baby cry before, QUITE THE SHOW I KNOW!! ..." and say something like that. It made me feel better anyways. I started to get quite rude with people because i just got tired of it. Hang in there. Its going to happen, but things will get easier....They did for us and i SWORE they never would. :)We can actually go shopping...go to the mall for a whole day now. We used to not even be able to GO to the mall, at all....because we attempted it once and it scarred us so bad we swore we'd never go again. She screamed the whole time and the entire walk we made thru the mall was with people staring at us. We can even go out to eat dinner....to restaurants!!! HOLY CRAP! It took Brooklyn a little longer than normal...shes 7 months old. I'd say shes fully recovered. Shes a totally different baby, you would never know she couldnt make it even into a STROLLER let alone actually GOING for a walk! Things definitley will be slowing down a noticeable difference around 4-5 months...if not earlier. I'm just saying 4-5 months to be on the safe side. The whole 3 month mark is crap. Some kids are like that, but id say the MAJORITY of colicky babies its about 4-5 months before its a HUGE difference. My 3 year old was colicky too, and she really was one of those babies that stopped at around 3 months exactly. Anyways...all that being said. Hang in there
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Post by pamcrt on Dec 8, 2007 23:41:54 GMT -5
OMG I know what you mean. I got to where I literally NEVER went anywhere because Abby cried everywhere we went. I had the same experience as you, we went to a family bday party and my sister tried to "hush" her and hold her etc., thinking that since she had 2 daughters she could get her quiet. Yah right... not my child. She finally gave her back and was like, "Pam, I don't know what is wrong with YOUR kid. She won't shut up." My sister has no tact whatsoever. She thinks she is God's gift to people. I think she is stupid. Everyone kept asking me what was wrong with Abby and I was like, she has colic people, that's what she does, she screams nonstop. Get over it. We had to deal with a lot of stares out in public also. That was the hardest part, people looking at me while she was screaming and me not able to do anything about it. Like I said before, I just got to where I didn't go anywhere and if I needed to go grocery shopping, I had someone else watch her so I could go. I hated taking her out. But I can say, it does get better but it does take time. Now I can take Abby out and she doesn't scream the entire time in the car, only if she's pissed or her sisters make her mad. She likes shopping now that she can sit up on her own and sit in the basket by herself like a big girl. What a change from 5 months ago when all she did was scream.
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Post by mommyof2gurlies on Dec 8, 2007 23:49:00 GMT -5
Yah...it helps when they can sit up in the basket. It does take time, but it totally gets easier.
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Post by pamcrt on Dec 9, 2007 9:24:36 GMT -5
And when it does, man, what a change. Seriously, they are like totally different children. And not saying that you don't love her, but if you are like me (or lots of others on here) you aren't real happy with her right now mainly because your feelings are... hurt(?)... because you are having to deal with this, because you do love her with ALL OF YOUR HEART, but it is so hard to enjoy them right now. But each day gets a little better, even if you don't notice. Something small changes. And then one day you notice she doesn't cry so much, and one day you notice she smiled at you most of the day and hey, you smiled too. And eventually you get to where you think you might be out of the colic woods. And you realize your baby is 5 or 6 or even 7 months old and you wonder where those days went. I think that is what happened to me. I honestly don't remember much of Abby's first 4 months of life. I am not sure if I blocked them out as a coping mechanism, but you know what, I am okay with that, because we have made up for it the last month and a half because she has become such a fun, playful baby girl. She laughs, plays, crawls and gets into things... and she is definitely a momma's girl. But that's the reward of having to spend so much one on one time with them, they love you the most. And it is an unconditional love no matter how much you might have gotten upset with them before. So hang in there. Unfortunately, sometimes you have to do what Tamara did and talk LOUDLY about how rude people can be about not understanding why babies cry and are upset... rude, rude people... eventually they'll get the point. And as far as the other babies, Mallory was just setting a trend, shows she'll be a good leader one day!
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Post by mommyof2gurlies on Dec 9, 2007 10:24:15 GMT -5
couldnt have said it better myself good advice pam!
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Post by deeter54 on Dec 10, 2007 0:56:07 GMT -5
yes you women let me know there is light at the end of the tunnel. I too cannot take my baby anywhere without paying for it.your stories give me hope
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Post by mommyof2gurlies on Dec 10, 2007 12:30:13 GMT -5
Know that you arent alone. We've all gone thru it....it sucks, i wouldnt do it again...but even if it doesnt seem like it now....in a few months omg...youll have this baby that youre just AMAZED by , and you will be so totally 100% in love , and wanting to spend time with. If you had told me that in the midst of all the colic drama...i would have told you were out of your FLIPPIN mind. At one time (i know this is going to sound awful) i sat pondering where i could give her to, could i adopt her out?? Could i put her in foster care or something till she was done with the colic. I could not function with that much stress in my life and my 3 year old's life. omg, it was tearing her up too. My husband and I's relationship was under a lot of stress from it, we were all tired. I couldnt find another solution. I loved her...she was my baby, but i didnt bond with her immedietly like all those other moms say "I fell in love the moment i saw her" It wasn't quite so fairytale like for me. It took me until she was probably 4-5 months to where i could spend time with her and REALLY REALLY enjoy her. Now i cant imagine life without her. It was sooooo totally worth it. Hang in there We're all here for ya
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Post by mommyof2gurlies on Dec 11, 2007 14:33:08 GMT -5
Yah...they are just jealous that they have SLOOOOWWW babies. No joke. These colicky babies all end up really intelligent, beautiful...advanced babies. I dont know if it has to do with all the stimulus or what...but it seems that they are more in tune with things and aware of things than average babies when they snap out of their colic.
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Post by karime on Dec 11, 2007 20:08:10 GMT -5
Oh, Tamara...I thought the same thing about Levi when he was really awful. I was seriously wondering if I could give him up for adoption, I didn't think I could take it!!!
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Post by mtmomx3 on Dec 12, 2007 10:49:48 GMT -5
I can relate completely. Hell my family is all afraid to be around Olivia. We had several aweful embarrassing moments. We actually were a month late on her shots because I was not sitting in the doctors office by my self with her screaming. We go to a family practice doctor and he only has three infants as patients so you know that no one is used to a baby like Liv. But just try to blow them off and know that it will get better. Think of it this way, when all of those babies hit two, yours will be the well behaved toddler and maybe the others will truelly be terrible twos. Then you can show them who the bigger person isby not making comments of how naughty there kids are. Just politely get to point out that when they were little your baby was a screamer and now she has gotten so big andyou are glad she outgrew that stage. Then at least you get to feel a little redemtion for them being nasty.
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Post by pamcrt on Dec 12, 2007 11:29:56 GMT -5
Yeah, we can say our babies got their screaming out at the beginning so they wouldn't have to do it later!! (yeah right!!)
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