worst mommy vote

[pamcrt]

Okay, so it's not about Abby, but about my oldest daughter Maddy. She wanted to go with my MIL to some program tonight (I didn't really want her to go but didn't want to say no b/c didn't want to look like a b i t c h). So I said yes against my better judgement. Well, her and Bella had gotten really quiet and then left the living room and gone up stairs. I went to look at what they were doing and they had taken Masie's gift that she had gotten from school yesterdday during her Christmas party (it was a Little Mermaid coloring backpack thing) and opened it and used all the pages and colored on them and used the crayons and markers. So I called them both downstairs and asked why they did it. Their response typically was "She did it!!" SSSOOO.... here's where I get the Worst Mother of the Year award... I told Maddy she wasn't going to the program and that they were both grounded and that they were going to tell Masie when she got home what they did to HER gift. Oh, that went over like a lead brick. And I know my MIL was thinking I was the biggest butt hole in the world, but you know what?? I don't care. It's called consequences and these children are going to learn some whether they want to or not. They are not going to think that they can get away with whatever and then still get rewarded. So Maddy walked around the house almost in hysterics, screaming that she wanted to go and I wouldn't budge. And my MIL didn't say one word to me. I totally expected her to ask me to just let her go and I was going to have to tell her to let it go, I made the decision and that was final. (But I think she already called my husband and complained about it. Oh well.) I just want them to understand that if you mess up someone else's things then you will have to be punished for what you did. Geez, it's not like I spanked her or anything. I grounded her which meant she didn't get to go to the program. She probably would have preferred I spank her! She even asked me if I would tell Masie she said sorry so she could go to the thing. I was like NNNOOO!!! You both are going to do it yourselves. I understand they are children, but they just don't get it. Man I have so far to go with these kids I may have to start drinking before I get there....

So does anyone else think I was right or was I totally off base with this one?

[mallysmommy]

I think you are her mother, no one else, so you know what works best with your kids. I thought you were pretty nice myself. When I was a kid I would've gotten my butt busted and have to apologive. My MIL is pretty pushy too, but I've gotten to that point of just not caring anymore. Besides, she is out of line, in my opinion, to be so rude to you when you are putting a roof over her head! I think the punishment fits the crime!

[pamcrt]

Yeah that's what I thought... but lately I'm thought of as a b i t c h so who knows.

[mel5mel]

Pam, whats wrong with what you decided, i think it was the perfect consequence, thats exactly how i was raised, if I did something wrong whatever was the most important thing at the time got pulled, my mom made me at 4 miss a birthday party... dont remember what I did but at school the next day I had to explain to the child why I couldnt come to their party. hey kids get away with too much now a days. How was Masie after she found out?

[pamcrt]

She did exactly what I thought she would... she cried. She is a very sensitive child and when she realized she only had one picture left and that her sisters did it, she was devastated. I told her the truth because she needed to know they did it. When Steven came in there and he heard her crying and asked her what was wrong and she told him he just said, well honey you can get some more. AAARRRGGGHHH.... but at least he didn't say anything about the fact that I made Maddy stay home. That part I was glad that he didn't argue with me about.
Then he tells me when he got home that Lesleigh, my 4 yr old, got in trouble for spitting- well hacking a loogey at one of the girls in her class, who by the way in handicapped and walks with a special walker and has other disabilities. This is not the first time that she has been ugly to this girl. The first time I beat her a s s for it thinking that if I did that it would knock some sense into her stubborn a s s but apparently it didn't. She is such a stubborn child and hard headed, nothing phases her, she just doesn't care. So we contemplated letting the other girls spit at her but didn't, although I thought REALLY hard about letting them. I just don't know what to do with that child. She will take anywhere from 1 1/2 -3 hours to eat dinner when it takes the other girls like 30 minutes and she will hold food in her mouth and just chew it and not swallow. It is SSSOOO gross. I can not stand watching her eat and chew, it makes me want to throw up. She does not listen when I tell her to do something, she just looks at me like I am stupid. I hate that so much. If it is one thing I can not stand it is a child who does not pay attention to an adult and do what they say to do. I was raised that when an adult speaks, you do what they say when they say it, not when you feel like doing it. Lesleigh... she just could care less what anyone says. I am at my wits end with her. I am NOT looking forward to kindergarten with that child. I am sure I will get called everyday and she will get reds all the time.... but enough rambling...

[mtmomx3]

I am a worse mommy, I forgot to do the toothfairy thing.

[accebersmith]

You were right on the money and made the punishment fit the crime. The fact it bothered the culprit so badly actually lets you know you'd done exactly the right thing. Punishment is supposed to suck. I think you did a great job, imho.

[pamcrt]

OOOOHHHH, we forgot the toothfairy once too. So we told her that it was because she had said she wanted to take it to school so he was letting her do it and that she would have to leave it in a glass of water that night since it was an unscheduled stop and she would have to leave a note on the front door letting him know where it was. God I felt SO horrible the next morning when she told me the toothfairy didn't come. What a great mom am I.

[mommyof2gurlies]

I've been having all sorts of issues with Mya not listening and learning bad habits at school. Shes an angel at school...they all say how well behaved she is. I guess she just saves it up for home.
She used to be the sweetest, most helpful, caring kid. Now shes a little stinker. Shes learning all sorts of bad words from the mean boys at school, how to ignore, and mimick adults...drives me nuts.
I take really special toys from her, and do time outs. Spanking doesnt work for her, shes just not that type of kid. Shes really emotional. She needs someone to get on her level, talk to her directly and make her explain what she did, and why shes getting in trouble. When shes done with her time out she has to get up and tell everyone sorry for what she did.
And on the really bad times........................i tell her SuperNanny is coming to our house. Shes scared to death of supernanny. Thats her fave show ever. We have to record it for her, since they changed the time to an hour later, past her bedtime. lol
If you ask her what happens when youre REALLY REALLY bad...she'll tell you "Super Nanny will come and tell you 'Sit on the naughhhtty mat! " She'll even do the little english accent with it and all. lol