Guilt?

[phxmama]

I have similar feelings. I don't really look back and feel like I did something wrong though, as I feel I tried just about everything under the sun. I feel guilty about the fact that I didn't enjoy her at all until just recently. I have hardly any photos of her during that time as I was just too stressed out to even think about it. I sort of feel like I missed out on the first 6 weeks or so of her life.

[pamcrt]

Victoria, don't feel guilty about leaving Connor. You need to have time alone, whether it is for 10 minutes, 10 hours or 10 days. Ask anyone on here, when my husband and I went on our long belated honeymoon to Cancun, I was a nervous wreck about leaving Abby (not my other kids, they annoy me ), but I had to do it and be okay with it because I simply needed the break and if I felt guilty, then I knew I wouldn't enjoy myself. So I let myself think about her for the first couple of hours and then put her aside, then had fun. I text message my wonderful mom, who took care of all 5 of my kids, everyday to check on her just so I wouldn't go batty, but I had to learn to let go and not feel bad. I did it and now... I don't look back... I NEED that break... I CRAVE those breaks... okay, more for my sanity, but it does do you good to be away from them for a while.

[llamajenn]

pamcrt said:

Victoria, don't feel guilty about leaving Connor. You need to have time alone, whether it is for 10 minutes, 10 hours or 10 days.

I completely agree. I think I would have gone crazy if my mother-in-law didn't live right down the street. For the first few months, she would take David for a few evenings a week so Chris and I could get a break and have some together time (or sleep time!) The great part was that she didn't mind and even enjoyed taking him (and moreso now that he's no longer a super-fuss).
Seriously, breaks are life-savers. And often the crying/fussing doesn't bother other people as much as it bothers us as moms.

[ahoward]

I don't think I feel guilty, I feel so relieved that we survived. There were many days that I didn't think I, nor my marriage would make it. Colic is by far the hardest thing we as a couple and family have delt with. I never in a million years expected Garren to be colicky. I can remember telling my husband that we could sell him.....there had to be tons of people out there that would take him and hopefully no one would even remember we had a baby. Yeah right....I was flippen delirious from COLIC HELL and no sleep. Anyway, here we are at 6.5 months and we are much happier, calmer people. I am not saying that there are not days that he is still very challenging and tempermental but so much easier to deal with. Hopefully, things will only continue to get better!

Jenn,
Please don't ever feel guilty...anyone who can get thru colic is an amazing person!!!!!! You are, and were even then. a great mother no matter how you feel!

Audrey

[pamcrt]

I thought we might fetch a good amount on the black market for Abby.

[deeter54]

I felt guilt. I still feel bad over memories. Especially when I would role her out of my room to my husband so I could sleep. I am like you and suffer from guilt. I think if I had done something different perhaps she would not have cried so much. I know this isn't logical but I still feel this way.

[ahoward]

I still don't think that anyone who has delt with colic should feel guilty for anything they did or felt! No one could have done anything any different to make it better! COLIC IS HARD...we all know that from personal experience. Do I look at Garren now and feel guilty for wanting to get rid of him in the early days....sure, but I don't truly feel I could have done anything any different to make him happy! We have lived through it and we are stronger because of that!

Audrey

[mommyof2gurlies]

Don't feel like that for a minute. All the thoughts you had and emotions you felt were totally real. Colic is one of the hardest, most trying things a new parent can deal with.
We do the best we can, under the circumstances.
Never once feel guilty....instead feel proud that you made it thru it (or are MAKING it thru it) and be proud that YOU were chosen for WHATEVER special reason....to do this job of raising this baby, and going thru difficult times. You were chosen to go thru it because YOU can handle it. We are never given more than we can handle. (Even at times when we feel we will not make it another minute....we push on) There are many parents out there that would NOT be able to handle it.
Not only do we build an amazing bond with our babies, but our babies will grow up with the knowledge that their parents went thru the depths of hell and back...for the simple reason of "WE LOVE THEM".

Remember:
"A baby will make love stronger, days shorter, nights longer, bankroll smaller, home happier, clothes shabbier, the past forgotten, and the future worth living for."

[mel5mel]

Tamara, did you feel the same with Brookie as you did with Mya, as for frusteration ect. or did having one before help you deal with what was going on... not that it was any easier but you already knew what to expect

[mommyof2gurlies]

No way. You'd think it would...but i went into things with Brooklyn expecting them to be easier than Mya. It was 100 times worse. I had a lot more angry feelings, and feelings that scared me....I had a lot of BAD feelings towards being a parent and towards Brooklyn those first few months. Mya was over colic at 3 months exactly. Classic case of colic. Brooklyn was an EXTREME case of colic. I wouldnt say that she was FULLY FULLY over it until about 5 months.
The only thing that got me thru it really was my husband reminding me "its not forever".
Hes kind of my voice of reason. He was stressed as hell too, but being on girl # 3 with colic, he knew it wasn't a forever thing.

[ahoward]

I can honestly say that if I had gone through it with my 1st child I am not sure there would have been another baby. Garren is still so demanding....like right now when he is so completely tired and just fussing up a storm. Just go to sleep baby...it's not so hard....I could do it lol!!!! If they truly only knew how wonderful they have it! But, you just gotta love them.

Audrey

[ahoward]

"A baby will make love stronger, days shorter, nights longer, bankroll smaller, home happier, clothes shabbier, the past forgotten, and the future worth living for."

Tamara I love this...how true it is!

Audrey